When I read A Doll's House by Henrik Ibsen during high school I was totally moved by Nora´s final decision, for a person who has grown up in a traditional family, having a mother leave their children was a total shock, but as time passed it has been easier to realize that life is more complicated, it isn't about good or bad, it's about situations, actions and its consequences. Henrik Ibsen once said "A woman cannot be herself in modern society, with laws made by men and with prosecutors and judges who assess female conduct from a male standpoint". I guess even thought Henrik Ibsen was a man, he understood more about the female world than myself, ironically me being the woman. When The Second Sex first came into my hands, I wasn't moved by the idea of actually reading about existentialism. Even thought I do not agree in every aspect that the "The Second Sex" contains, I do admire Beauvoir for expressing out loud what she really thought, saw and lived. Her book demanded a lot not only in the intellectual field but personal as well, she had the courage to confront all the retaliations and also to continue living by her own ideals, even thought they were not approved by the majority. At the beginning of my reading, I took the book and gave it a quick look and by my amazement I got caught in the introduction:
"If herfunctioning as a female is not enough to define woman, if we declinealso to explain her through “the eternal feminine,” and if neverthelesswe admit, provisionally, that women do exist, then we must facethe question: what is a woman? . . . The fact that I ask it is in itselfsignificant. A man would never get the notion of writing a bookon the peculiar situation of the human male. But if I wish to definemyself, I must first of all say, ”I am a woman”; on this truth mustbe based all further discussion."
What is a woman? I've never asked myself that question and yet I thought I was actually living as such, funny it is cause my role in society was defined by the "eternal feminine" not by the radical suggestion, introduced in this quote, that a “woman”does not, in fact, exist as an immense category and that men andwomen alike should always be defined primarily as humans. Beauvoir recognizes that she cannot define herself without first defining herselfas a woman. Her effort to find out what it means to be a woman,then, is also an effort to make sense of her experience on earth.
“Capabilities are clearly manifested only when they have been realized.” Thus by not realizing what I really am, I cannot improve my skills and abilities.
“One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.” I am a woman but as Beauvoir, to define myself as one it is necessary to go beyond genetics
“Art, literature, and philosophy are attempts to found the world anew on a human freedom: that of the creator; to foster such an aim, one must first unequivocally posit oneself as a freedom. The restrictions that education and custom impose on a woman limit her grasp of the universe...Indeed, for one to become a creator, it is not enough to be cultivated, that is, to make going to shows and meeting people part of one's life; culture must be apprehended through the free movement of a transcendence; the spirit with all its riches must project itself in an empty sky that is its to fill; but if a thousand fine bonds tie it to the earth, its surge is broken. The girl today can certainly go out alone, stroll in the Tuileries; but I have already said how hostile the street is: eyes everywhere, hands waiting: if she wanders absentmindedly, her thoughts elsewhere, if she lights a cigarette in a cafe, if she goes to the cinema alone, an unpleasant incident can quickly occur; she must inspire respect by the way she dresses and behaves: this concern rivets her to the ground and self. "Her wings are clipped." At eighteen, T.E. Lawrence went on a grand tour through France by bicycle; a young girl would never be permitted to take on such an adventure...Yet such experiences have an inestimable impact: this is how an individual in the headiness of freedom and discovery learns to look at the entire world as his fief...[The girl] may feel alone within the world: she never stands up in front of it, unique and sovereign.”
The distinction between genres is done since childhood, women are supposed to be target to the "reproductive" idea; toys as dolls, strollers, household items are what a girl should be playing with while boys are represented by the "productive" idea, toys that focus on occupational abilities rather than family. Through the beginning of woman's education ideas about naturalism prevailed.
"The body is not a thing, it is a situation: it is our grasp on the world and our sketch of our project”
Reproduction is seeing as a finality and not as an objective which is entirely different, because an objective can or cannot be accomplished while a finality must be fulfill. Is the reproductive system the whole essence of a woman?, does our complexity rely only on an uterus?, to think this is to reduce a woman into a less elaborated specie, animals seek reproduction for keeping their genes alive, while humans seek for transcendence. Intelligence and free will makes them free, it gives them the opportunity to choose upon circumstances, situations, time and above all convenience.“It is not in giving life but in risking life that man is raised above the animal; that is why superiority has been accorded in humanity no to the sex that brings forth but to that which kills.” Women are not based upon pure naturalism, it is more complex, there is a choice between whether or not embrace maternity, circumstances are essential, priorities can be made according to personal goals and achievements, women are allowed to look for happiness, in a sense that maternity is not an obligation, it is a personal decision, there is not a time limit as there is no rule about it, it can be embraced differently, adoption can be an option. Reproduction is a personal choice and Beauvoir points it out that it is possible to do so.
“Representation of the world, like the world itself, is the work of men; they describe it from their own point of view, which they confuse with absolute truth.” Men and woman have coexisted since the beginnings of times, trough different societies there has always been women. Thus, men and woman need each other to survive, otherwise this bond should had never kept maintained. Yet woman have been treated differently, always as a subordinate not as a partner. The "eternal feminine" doesn't define a woman, because if it had it wouldn't have change through the pass of time, through this I may say that Kierkegaard was right: "What a misfortune to be a woman! And yet, the worst misfortune is not to understant what a misfortune it is". This is because I do not think it relies within men to understand women, but it is women obligation to stand for herself, to make herself be understood. To define herself trough her actions and to show each other what can be achieved. It takes an active attitude towards the world, not a passive position, in which woman have so comfortably accustomed to. In the final pages of The Second Sex, Beauvoir makes an exhortation for woman to take charge of her own destiny.
“And without a doubt it is more comfortable to endure blind bondage than to work for one's liberation; the dead, too, are better suited to the earth than the living.”
Women should not excuse themselves upon the idea of the "eternal feminine" rather than continue struggling for achieving personal accomplishment, it is not a choice to be born as a woman in gender but it is a big responsibility to actually being one, because a woman is not define merely by pure physiology, genetics, society roles, a woman is defined by herself, this is because only a real woman can know what it is to be and become a woman. To get out from the "comfort zone" is the key, it is less demanding and less exhaustingto abdicate all responsibility for one’s future to a man. It is incoherent to fear departing from societal norms and venturing into thewilderness of liberty, women are not suppose to be parasites, as humans, abilities must be develop."Womanenjoys that incomparable privilege: irresponsibility." Many womenrefuse the opportunities granted to them; like their forebears, these woman don't want to realize that the “privilege” of irresponsibility isactually a curse, in love and in life. As contrary to what many believe, Beauvoir is not against love, but she exhorts women to understand that only as equals love can take place, this is to say that any successful relationshipbetween two parties grows from mutual liberty. Being two as a couple is a choice, which can be modified if one of the parties has drown into unhappiness, cause love must search exaltation of spirit and only trough real liberty a person is capable of comprehending this humongous life premise.
“Two separate beings, in different circumstances, face to face in freedom and seeking justification of their existence through one another, will always live an adventure full of risk and promise."
As a conclusion, women are capable of modifying their personal situations, a definition of a woman can only be achieved if a woman has conscience about being a woman, reproduction is a personal choice, no woman should be entitled entirely by this decision. Irresponsibilityis a function of mutilation and incompleteness, of dependency andenslavement. Women should not stay in “immanence" but as men they should look upon “transcendence” and together as partners both are obliged to create a better society reflecting in a better world, a world based upon understanding.
